some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize