Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize