seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
