there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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