Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize