Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
