i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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