I just cut my nipple shaving
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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