He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Less talking, more tequila
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
