remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
