I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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