butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
