You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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