SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
