I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
