I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
