but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
