So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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