woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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