you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
