Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
