I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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