You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
