This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
