Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
