So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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