I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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