How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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