Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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