Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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