Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
