Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
