He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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