i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
