I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
