you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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