We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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