I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
