This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
