evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
