I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
