sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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