wakey wakey hands off snakey
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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