i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize