I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
