i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you traded sex for a burrito?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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