Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
