so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize