I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
