Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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