Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
