carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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