consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
