On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i've created a new STD.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize