You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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