so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
