She said her name was "party"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
as a side note pls kill me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
