no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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