Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
