It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
