We're facebook friends in real life
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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